learning english

A friend of mine, a former 15-year old investigator in Taiwan, sent me these emails. At the risk of being considered mean by posting his email to the public, I am anyway because: for one you might be able to help me understand what he means sometimes, and for two I thought you might find it funny to read.


Email 1
"How are you? My name is ****.
Recently has wanted to make money, to read English, wants to go to the US to attend the university, the US expends can be very high?
I was thinking, if I go to the US to attend the university, did not know that has the place to be possible to live, if I go to the US studies, you are willing to help me to be busy?
Saw troublesome please reply in writing! I am anxious."


Email 2
"I in two year graduation, these two years period I must read English diligently, the graduation must test receive help the US to study, you may recommend some schools? The score is quite low, because I wanted to be possible to go to the US to study have been good, too will not care about the school the height!"


Email 3 (I have no idea what his last sentence is saying)
"Which language school does your family leave to be quite near? I want to be possible the words go study your family nearby school, is lodging your family, did not know that your family member does have the opinion? As soon as raises while convenient, the language school is goes abroad that side to read first?"



I hope he does come to America and masters English, mainly because then someday he'll look back on the things he used to write and think they're hilarious. I wish I had recordings of all the crazy things I said when I was learning Mandarin.